If you are new to and beginning to explore polyamory you may want to ask yourself what your “why” is. This can open your mind to the needs you are trying to have met, your desires, your values, your wishes, expectations and feelings.
Thinking about your ‘why’ could also make you feel confused or unsettled as we live in a mono normative society and aren’t offered the support, resources, models and acknowledgment of what healthy polyamory relationships look like. And when those feelings arise, can you sit with that discomfort and observe it compassionately… knowing that polyamory can be a major shift in your life on many levels.
It may take time to settle in and know this new Self that is emerging from you, and even your Lover(s) and Metamour(s) new behaviors / feelings / identities.
So why polyamory? Why now? Asking these questions to your Self with an open heart, open mind and compassion can help you feel grounded in your reasons and motivation as you navigate polyamory. It can also help as you communicate your ‘why’ with your Lover(s) and Metamour(s). And as long as their is mutual consent and kindness, your reasons for Polyamory are valid, YOU are valid and your relationship identities are valid. I believe everything we do exists on a spectrum and we can move as we see fit to expand our joy, pleasure and Self expansion.
Understanding and getting to know your ‘why’ (even as it may change time) and your Lover(s) why — is part of discovering your Self and them.
Much love to your Self and your many Loves. ~ Fox M.
Fox M., Therapist (AMFT)
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