Our sex can be expansive. The sex we are, and the sex we have with our Selves and our Beloveds. What is your sex language? Not the ‘sexual script’ society fed you. In fact, if you could re-write that script, what would it say? Tell me what sex would be for you and how it would feel and where it would take you. How would you like to feel in your body? When we explore our sex and sexuality, it expands us. It transforms us. Then when we are with our Beloveds we can teach them about our bodies and where it feels good… where it likes to be touched… and how it likes to be licked… so that we moan. Sexual health is mental health.
There are infinite languages of what turns us on. Sometimes the space between us and our Lovers heightens that electric tension and when we come back together, we expand. Sometimes, the quiet whispers and light touches can move us into a throbbing place. And sometimes… we may not even know what we need because we haven’t explored this part of our Self. This part may be ashamed, hidden, removed, or overly disciplined and controlled. I miss her/him/they.
And there may be layers of shame that you are not meant to carry any longer that you uncover during this journey of redefining your sex. It may not be easy or comfortable. And that’s okay, it’s part of getting to your authentic Self. Go slow and massage your compassionate curiosity for Self. She/he/they may be scared and need tenderness when healing. Your Self misses you.
Let us remove the goals and over played step 1-5 of “undress - kiss - maybe oral - penetrate - orgasm.” This is only one way to f*ck. Some people consider French kissing as sex, some dry humping fully present all clothes on is sex, some consider toys as sex and some consider chains and spanking without genitals touching as sex. How lovely and empowering is it that now you get to decide? And once you do, let it impact you. And you can even keep evolving your definition. That’s you boo, forever expansive and evolving. Just like your sacred sexual Self. I love this for you.
This dreamy erotic art @joce_cova
Fox M., Therapist (AMFT)
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