Oh me oh my it can absolutely be wonderful to see people loving on your lovers! However, if your relationship is feeling neglected, stagnant, or on auto-pilot due to day-to-day domestic obligations & responsibilities; or there’s been wounds and ruptures that haven’t been healed and you’re on shaky ground— you may have feelings come up of jealousy, envy, frustration, longing & even sadness seeing your Lover be pursued by another. And it makes sense you’d feel this way.When we’re feeling down and frustrated or jealous we often want to isolate, withdraw and hide our feelings. Or act out and lash out at our lovers with blame. Instead, what if we self-activate and make a plan and communicate with our lover on what we are missing how we can get back to that place? Together. Yesssss. I encourage this. And this could also help to bring up any old wounds that are needing some compassion and healing.
Let your feelings inspire you to elevate your own actions & behaviors to show up with passion, & discuss with your Lover how you can activate newness in the relationship together. Make quality time & pin discussing responsibilities. Instead deepen curiosity about each other’s dreams, wishes, passions & hopes.
Find new places to date, eat, play, & ways to explore s*xuality with each other and have FUN. Can you adorn your body & Self in preparation for a date the way you would for a new Lover? Discuss what you miss & desire and make a plan & new rituals. Newness can be erotic and fuel desire & arousal. And bonus tip your lover being pursued by others can show everyone the areas of the relationship that you feel are lacking… and this is an opportunity for everyone involved… to evolve and take care of this matter.
Wishing you all the loves and many loves.
Fox Eros, M.A., Therapist (AMFT) @thepolyamorytherapist