When we have many Lover(s) we may have more to consider with talking about our plans for safer sex. We know that society / parents / religion / cultures etc. can sometimes have major issues just talking about sex and that shame and stigma can trickle down to us. If we and our Lover(s) are being sexual, we can begin a develop a new skill and practice normalizing this topic with no shame or judgment. Our sexual health is part of our mental health.
Amongst the CNM community people are already discussing safer sex more often and protecting themselves and thus there are... “Smaller rates of STI transmission among consensual non-monogamists than among non-consensual non-monogamists” (Eli Sheff, 2020). • How will you create a safe compassionate space to discuss what sex means to you (as this dentition is different for everyone).
• What does ‘safe sex’ mean to you?
• With whom will you have ‘safe sex’ with - all of your Lover(s) or only certain Lover(s)?
• And how and with whom will you share your current status with?
• How often will you be tested?
• What are your plans for protecting yourself and how will you cope if mistakes are made?
The more specific you and your Lover(s) are the more you can build trust and plan for what aligns for your health. Our Sexual Self is a precious part of us and talking about it / planning for it with our Lover(s) is one way we honor our Selves and them.
Stunning Art by Jenifer Prince @inlohographics
Fox M., Therapist (AMFT)